Larry spun around on his stool and extended his hand toward the guy a couple of seats away.
'Hi,' he said, flashing his teeth, 'I'm Larry.'
The other guy looked like he might have a couple of hits on the Country Western charts. His blonde hair fell in locks around his shoulders as he said, looking slightly startled, 'Good to meet you, Larry.'
'What's a brushed-up guy like you doing in a hellhole like this?'
The look of alarm continued to impress itself on Country Western's face. 'Meeting people.'
'Ladies?'
'No, just.. people. Talking. Understanding.'
'You're not one of those evangelicals, are you?'
'Um.'
'I can't stand those. Going around all high and mighty like they just climbed off a mountain of righteousness, or some such.'
'Well.'
'You one of them?'
'God isn't just on mountains of righteousness. He's all around us. He's in this bar,' Country Western said beatifically.
Larry snorted.
'God's not so bad,' Country Western protested. 'He's an ordinary guy. He's like you, only Without Sin.'
'So he won't be drinking at this bar, I take it.'
'..no,' said Country Western, who was nursing a bottle of mineral water.
'Won't be chatting up the ladies.'
'I suppose not.'
'Game of poker?'
'No.'
'Betting on the game?' Larry nodded at the plasma screen above their heads.
'Not.. exactly.'
'Would God fix the game, you reckon, if I asked?'
'No,' Country Western said, aghast. 'Free will, and all that.'
'How is God Just Like Me if he doesn't drink, gamble, chat up the ladies, or.. smoke?' Larry asked, going out on a limb.
'No, sorry.'
Country Western thought about it.
'God makes good wine.'
'Yeah?'
'At the wedding at Cana, say.'
'Oh, right.'
'He can hold his breath underwater.'
'Yeah? God like swimming?'
'Hasn't got much need for it.' Country Western walked his fingers through the empty air, and grinned.
'Nice. He's a bit of a stubborn bastard, isn't he, holding out in that desert against the devil the way he did.'
'Oh, you know about that?' Country Western said, modest.
Larry shrugged. 'Picked it up somewhere.'
Country Western gave it some thought. 'He'd be great at holding off the telemarketers, I guess.'
Larry laughed. 'All right! Here, I'll get you another bottle of that..water..?'
Country Western quirked his eyebrows. 'Carbonated.'
Sunday, February 8, 2009
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It was a pity Country Western didn't see the Satanist with the bowie knife in the corner...
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